Hi! I’m Kaz, immutable rule-breaker and compulsive writer about everything that interests me, ranging from unhinged defences of the Death Note novels to searing insights into what it means to be human. And, of course, my favourite subject (myself).
I break it all down into some vaguely coherent categories in an attempt to feel like I know what I’m doing. Here they are:
Not to brag, but trying new things and starting projects I will never finish is kinda my deal. I talk about stuff I do, why I do it, what I learn from it, why nobody has stopped me yet – that sort of thing.
‘I’m trying too hard to sound cool in this email because holy shit, you are just so cool. Your advice is the most realistic, empathetic, actionable and actually hilarious stuff.’
Listen, I’m a huge nerd. You want my hot takes on the latest generic sci-fi movie? Analyses of obscure crap from 12 years ago? Long lists of indie games I think are cool? Well, I don’t specifically promise any of those, but you get the gist.
‘I love your intolerance for all things bullshit. Thanks for being alive and dishing out your good shit. Fan for life.’
This is where things get personal. I share slices of my life, shenanigans from once upon a time, and brooding essays about what the fuck is wrong with me. No, that last one is a joke. There’s nothing wrong with me. I am perfect.
Paid subs only 🔥
‘I love to read and feel what you’re going through. It’s no fairytales and other crap about how beautiful and easy everything is.’
GIMME YOUR MONEY! Yes, all of it.
Paid subs are a thing here (or they will be when I turn them back on), although much of what I write is free. If you want to support my writing habit and/or uncover my deepest, darkest secrets, a paid sub is, well, it’s pretty much your only option. If you don’t want to or can’t afford it, that’s fine too! Really! No, I’m not scowling, this is how I always look.
Anyway, here’s a convenient doodad:
‘You actually talk about being human. We’re always told our appearance should be more buttoned-up. Which means no swearing, no talking about the meaning of life and definitely no admitting to staying in your pyjamas all day.’
Can you believe people really said these things? About me???
‘Something about your personality makes me NOT stop reading.’
‘You’re flippant, funny, and totally awesome.’
‘You talk to me like a friend, not a high and mighty perfect expert, and I look forward to reading about what you’ve been up to, the good and the bad.’
‘Thanks for consistently putting good shit in my inbox. You are literally the only newsletter type thing I read all the way to the end every time.’
‘I just had to tell you that I love reading your emails! I love your honest voice and always find something to think about from you.’
‘I love your emails! They’re entertaining and include useful stuff I actually want to read. So it’s the only one out of all the emails I’m signed up to that I actually look forward to opening.’
‘You’re awesome. I love your emails and admire your vulnerability. I appreciate what you do!’
‘You are one of the few newsletters I subscribe to and actually read because you are real, honest and share your personal struggles.’
‘I LOVE getting your emails because they make me laugh, and they keep me updated on everything you have been up to.’
‘Yes! Loving this! I didn’t realise how much I missed your newsletters. Great to see you back in my inbox. I just subscribed for more potty-mouthed insights.’
‘Just wanted to say how much I am enjoying Clattermouth. I previously was on your mailing list and always enjoyed your emails and the new list provides lots of food for thought. Keep up the good work!’
‘Just wanted you to know that I’ve watched loads of slimy webinars and signed up for probably 40 email lists – you’re the first to get my real email address instead of my spam account in months. Looking forward to watching you be you and feeling inspired to just be me.’
‘I really needed this one today. Feeling overwhelmed by life, I was busily unsubscribing from email lists, and your words jumped out at me. Clearly I didn’t hit that unsubscribe link as I had planned to. You’re awesome and I just wanted to send a rare email (I almost never do) just saying for you to keep being you in all your honest and shit-kicking way. Thank you.’
‘I am just replying to this because it was so engaging and brilliant. I'm your admirer from a distance. Thanks for writing! <3’
