Goooooood weekend, readers. I spent last weekend hanging out at my aunt’s house while I looked after her cat, Harley. It was a chill time. I ate all my aunt’s cheese and onion crisps, went for five-mile walks by the sea (I made that sound plural, but it was not), and watched movies I would otherwise have to pay for – Little Women, Sonic the Hedgehog, A Quiet Place Part II – which were all excellent. Even Sonic. Especially Sonic. Oh, and I also watched Wonder Woman 1984.

In less-good animal news, a giant (medium-sized) hairy spider darted out from behind my feet while I was on the toilet yesterday. It is now trapped inside my bagless hoover. It is alive. It is moving. So now I have to buy a new hoover, after I have yeeted this one into the sun.

I’ve enjoyed a giant-spiderless life since I moved to the city ten years ago, save for one gargantuan monster who briefly visited my old Victorian cellar-kitchen. I am not happy about this will-also-enter-modern-first-floor-flats development. But the less said about spideys the better, unless someone has better advice than yeeting my hoover into the sun, in which case I am all ears. I will not entertain feats of bravery or heroics, however. Your suggestion has to be realistic.

Moving on. Here’s the stuff you actually came here for:

Good shit o’ mine (New on Clattermouth)

Clattermouth

Making plans for making money

It’s been a month since I started this newsletter, and somehow I still haven’t done anything except start this newsletter. First of all, why has the time passe…

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9 months ago · 1 like · 2 comments · Kaz Marston

How cool is this little widget thingy? No, really. I can’t decide. It would suck if there were several of them listed, right? Good thing I only wrote one article this week, and how dare you suggest I am using the widget thingy to make this section look bigger. Outrageous. Anyway, in this week’s column (shall I start calling it a column? for the préstîgè?) I told my paying subscribers all about my plans to reboot my writing business and ramp up my income again.

Good shit that ain’t mine

• I Do Not Want to Write Today (Comic)
  This is important and you should read it, especially if you’re white.
  

• Back to School (Article)
  Struggling with productivity? Want to establish a writing routine? Trying (and failing at) a new system? Enjoy this warm hug and gentle advice.
  

• What If People Don’t Want ‘A Career’? (Article)
  This partly explains how I felt in my early 20s. While my fellow graduates flocked to London to pursue careers, I actively avoided starting one, instead alternating minimum-wage jobs with time off to travel, and ultimately going freelance.
  

• Aerith is dead (but I am not) (Article)
  Although I’m actively aiming to game less these days, I still believe that video games can be art, and they can be meaningful. My friend Becca conveys that beautifully in this visceral, moving piece about her time in hospital as a child.
  

• Spiritfarer (Video game)

  

  Speaking of meaningful video games, this ‘cozy management game about dying’ will probably make you cry – possibly full-on sob and at the very least well up. Welcome spirits aboard your shantytown boat, then sail mystical seas as you help them carry out their final requests before ushering them to their place in the stars.
  

• Inclusive writing workshop: focus on gender and trans identity (Workshop)
  If you’d like to learn more about writing well with trans people in mind, this workshop next Wednesday (22nd Sept) is for you. It's designed for non-transgender writers, but all are welcome.
  

• Distractible (Podcast)
  Three likeable, hilarious guys compete to tell the best stories on a chosen topic each week. This is my go-to at the moment, because sometimes you just want something easy and light-hearted, you know?

Take it breezy and eat some chocolate this weekend,
Kaz

This edition of Clattermouth is brought to you by four hours of sleep and the copious editing-out of jokes involving dubious wordplay, mathematical symbols, and general dumbfuckery.